it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
