...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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