It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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