i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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