"it" just moved
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Every concussion has its silver lining
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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