Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
