tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
