508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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