he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
