when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
