You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
