He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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