Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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