Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Randomize
