If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
