it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
