wat bout pragnant strippers??
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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