so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
