doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize