i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize