hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
