I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
