The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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