I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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