i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
