I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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