apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
