I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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