I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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