Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
