just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
