if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
