I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Someone shit on the floor
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
