PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
