I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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