No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize