at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
