She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
