So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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