Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
