Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize