Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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