Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
