omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
