I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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