You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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