im drinking this country out of the recession.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
