i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
