I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my poor anus
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
