hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize