When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize