so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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