At least make sure they are 18
Why
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
