He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
