I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize