My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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