11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Too much gin, very little bucket
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
