What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
