Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
