My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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