it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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