Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
