It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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